Originally published November 11, 2016
Strive to celebrate differences
Why do people fear and reject differences? In a time when we
are so connected through the internet, how do we justify holding on to biases,
stereotypes and prejudices?
For many years, I admit I carried a bias against people with
tattoos.
I’m unsure of the root of my bias. Perhaps I bought into the
common stereotype that those with tattoos were criminals or belong to gangs. Or
that those with tattoos like pain, live unconventional lives or seek attention.
A lower back tattoo has the unfortunate bias of a “tramp stamp.”
I used to say I would never get a tattoo, both because of my
bias, but also because of my dislike of needles and knowing people who got a
tattoo on a whim and came to regret it.
While human civilization has a mixed view of tattoos, the
practice of tattooing dates back to at least the fourth millennium BC. Some are
tribal and serve as a rite of passage. Sailors often got a tattoo to signify
their first crossing of the equator. And World War II found tattoos used in one
of the worst ways possible- to identify people held prisoner at the Auschwitz
concentration camp.
I met someone with many visible tattoos and confess she
intimidated me at first.
Then I got to know her, and I found her to be one of the
sweetest souls I have ever met. I learned the stories behind her tattoos and
now consider her a dear friend.
So, I began to change my mind and accept tattoos as a form
of art and self-expression. After losing my father, I found myself considering
a tattoo as a memorial to him.
A friend of the family sent my mother a dragonfly charm and
a lovely story with the message that any time you see a dragonfly, it is your
loved one checking in with you. So I considered getting a dragonfly tattoo. But
it did not feel right, or say anything to me about my father. I donated a toy
last December to Ultimate Arts’ Tats 4 Tots, which gave me a gift certificate
toward a tattoo. And I finally found the inspiration for a memorial to my
father in his photographs. He loved visiting Maroon Bells in Colorado and
photographed them in every season. And he signed one of his photos when he
framed it.
The staff at Ultimate Arts, after reviewing my idea for a
tattoo, suggested Jim as the tattoo artist who could make my vision a reality.
While the tattoo would be bigger than I first expected, I
chose my left shoulder as the canvas for it. Not only was it above my heart,
but I cherish the memory of Dad’s hand on my shoulder as he taught me to ride a
bike.
My tattoo session took nearly four hours, and while it was
uncomfortable, it was not unbearable. The result turned out even more beautiful
than I expected, rich in detail. While it is not always visible to others, I
know it is there.
Unfortunately, some may judge me for the tattoo. Justin
Douglas, who used to serve as the pastor of Living Hope Community Church in Fox
Lake recently wrote an amazing blog post, “You Know God Hates Tattoos, Right?”
that can be found on his web page and does a far better job than I could do of confronting
the issue of that judgment.
We all have biases, find ourselves falling back on
stereotypes and hold on to prejudices.
But we can be better.
We can do better.
We can question ourselves about why we fear differences, and
hopefully change our minds and open our hearts. H. Jackson Brown wrote,
“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and
has lost something.”
I hope we can seek that which connects us to others and
learn to embrace differences, not fear them.
Online:
To read Justin Douglas' blog post, “You Know God Hates Tattoos
Right?!” visit:
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