Originally published on August 6, 2016
Don't let a generation fade away
Tuesday brought unwelcome news to my family.
My great-aunt Patricia passed away after a long illness. She
turned 88 on July 13.
Her death marks the end of an era. She was the last of her
generation on either side of my family. She will be deeply missed.
Her older sister Jacqueline was my dad’s mother. We lost
Grandma Jackie in 1982, just after Thanksgiving. Aunt Pat often shared stories
of both her sister and her niece, my dad’s sister Kim. Kim took her own life
the year before I was born, and my father found it difficult to talk about her.
So stories shared by Aunt Pat, her sons and my father’s youngest sister,
Jackie, helped me feel connected to my late grandmother and aunt. After my
father died, they also shared stories of him.
Pat and her second husband, Dr. Jim, worked together in his
podiatry clinic. My grandmother worked there before she died, and Pat and
Grandma Jackie’s mother, my great-grandmother Blanche, lived in an apartment
above the clinic. My fond memories of them include visiting the clinic,
Great-grandma’s apartment and Grandma Jackie’s apartment, located in a building
across the alley from the clinic.
Aunt Pat and Dr. Jim once owned an amazing lakeside estate
in Northern Wisconsin and hosted so many incredible dinner parties there and at
their home in Ironwood. Their lake estate included a guest cottage, a game room
with a pool table, pinball game and more, a commercial-quality buffet table for
dinner parties, a Monopoly game board painted on the floor of the lowest level
of the main house and a bathroom with a fish tank built in next to the toilet.
My sister and I loved visiting my father’s side of the
family — it offered a different family dynamic than my mother’s side (she was
one of 13 children). Spending time with them helped me understand and
appreciate the unique sense of humor I share with my father and his side of the
family.
The obituary for Aunt Pat did a marvelous job of sharing the
story of her life and those who loved her. And the photo accompanying the
obituary captures Aunt Pat as a glamorous and gorgeous woman in her prime. Too
often, obituary photos seem to be the most recent taken of the deceased before
they died. I far prefer obit photos that show the person in their youth, or
obits that share both a photo of the person as a young adult and a flattering,
more recent photo of them.
I treasure the stories shared by Aunt Pat, and am grateful
that I took notes on many of them.
I recommend this practice for all families. Interview
grandparents and great-aunts and uncles. Ask questions about their childhood,
how they met their spouse, their education, their careers and memories of
members of previous generations. Record or write their stories and share them,
passing them down to future generations.
Photographs may fade, the writing on a tombstone may wear
away and ashes scatter in the wind.
While many have faith in a life after death, we will not
truly know the destination of souls until we join those who pass before us. But
I find comfort in believing people are never truly gone if we carry them with
us in our hearts and memories. And by sharing their stories.
