Illuminate me

(Written in late 2010)

Hold fast to the light in your life. When your thoughts take you to dark places, you'll have something to help you find your way back out.

- A.L.L.

What is the light in your life?

It can be the people you love, things that make you smile or laugh out loud, or a place that takes your breath away.

Hearing my son laugh is one of my favorites, and this morning I was enchanted by how frozen water and sunlight can transform weeds and trees into something glittering and gorgeous.

Take a moment to tell me about your light.

 Only on Fridays

Only my family is allowed to use the short version of my first name, and only on Fridays. Here's why....

It was the first day of kindergarten for the oldest daughter in a family of four. Her father made arrangements to go in late to work that day, and the family made the short walk to school together.

The kindergarten classroom was the first door on the left at the little blue elementary school. Child-sized chairs surrounded round tables, and each place was set with the name of a student. The little girl and her family had just found her place to sit when the teacher bustled up.

“This must be Mandy,” said the kindergarten teacher.

The little girl looked up and announced in a firm voice “My name is Amanda.”

The teacher and her parents must have looked quite taken aback by her tone of voice, so the little girl modified this statement with “But you can call me Mandy on Fridays.”

It’s one of those stories that becomes a legend in a family, repeated at gatherings amid much laughter.

I don’t know what prompted me to insist on being called by my real name that day, perhaps it being the first day of school and feeling like a “big girl” had me forging my identity and independence.

There are still members of my extended family and old family friends who try to use “Mandy” but I correct them as politely as possible. Pretty much only my grandmother and her sister got a free pass, and now a few of my aunts.

I often find it difficult to write about myself. Especially for dating profiles.  Found this old one from OKCupid, written sometime around 2010. 

About Me

 I am here because I get a kick out of the quizzes and find it fun to meet people on-line who share my interests. I'm addicted to dark chocolate and caffeine. I've learned I have expensive tastes. I tried a glass of 18-year-old Scotch, and it was smooth, fabulous and roughly $175 a bottle.

I can be a dingbat, but I love working out logic problems, Sudoku and cryptograms. I love trivia games.

I'm a bleeding heart romantic and a cynic. To some the glass is half empty, to others it is half full. I see a glass that will need to be washed, and damned if I don't dislike doing the dishes (it's been 11 years since I've had a dishwasher and piles of dishes are created when one loves to cook.)

I like reading popular fiction and love cheesy movies. I own enough books to start my own library, enjoy taking photographs and love spending time with family and friends.

I'm phone impaired. I hate being on the phone, have to force myself to make phone calls and seem to be all thumbs when it comes to dialing. This usually only applies to work-related calls. Cold-calling someone to ask for a story interview or calling for information on an accident or crime is not fun. I could never work in sales.

I love watching high school and college basketball and college hockey. Also Olympics men's swimming, and track and field events (I help coach middle school track, but my role tends to be more team "Mom" and cheerleader than coach.)

Perhaps I'm a bit hyper-critical, but so many profiles here are full of typos and grammatical errors. These profiles are essentialy a resume selling ourselves, though, right? Mine is by no means perfect, but I do admit to dismissing profiles filled with text message abbreviations and error after error. (Yes, I was an English major and I write for a living, and I really should be more open-minded.)

I am imaginative, impertinent, and implex.

 

What I’m doing with my life 

Reading.

Writing.

Cooking.

Abusing the snooze alarm.

Raising a teenager.

Avoiding housework.

Testing out the acoustics in my shower and car.

Amusing myself with on-line quizzes, reading the Friends page on my LJ and spending time with the people I love. Getting caught up in the timesuck that is Facebook.

 

I’m really good at

Procrastinating. Nothing like a looming deadline to spark that creative fire. Making desserts that involve chocolate, though I do have awesome recipes for Lemon Cream Cake and Tipsy Apple Spice Cake.

The first things people usually notice about me

My nose piercing, smile or my glasses.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I like too many books to list here. Everything from mysteries, suspense, romance, classics, science fiction, fantasy, non-fiction and beyond. I like books so much that I'm thinking of going back to school to earn an MLS.

As for movies, my tastes vary. Strange Brew makes me laugh, Rear Window is amazing, Gone With the Wind never gets old and I love the Lord of the Ring trilogy, Harry Potter movies and Serenity. I'm also a nut for sports movies based on real-life events ("Miracle" and "The Greatest Game Ever Played" are in my DVD collection).

I went to see DMB in concert at Alpine Valley every summer between 2002 and 2008, and I hope Green Day comes back to Wisconsin. I hit Summerfest last summer for the first time and loved the O.A.R. show.

As for food, pizza is my favorite, but I love Mexican and Asian cuisines. Italian is wonderful too. A good burger or a nice rare steak are fantastic. I bought a charcoal grill and have a lot of fun cooking kebabs, potatoes, chicken wings, brats, hot dogs and more.

It's rare for a day to go by without me having chocolate in some form.

How is TV not included in this? I watch way too much. Currently I'm watching NCIS, Castle, Community, Modern Family, Archer, Cougartown, How I Met Your Mother, NCIS LA and the Big Bang Theory.

TV shows I had to own on DVD include Babylon 5, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Firefly (sorry Joss W. - not even Eliza D could keep me watching Dollhouse). Also have all seasons of Arrested Development. I loved Freaks and Geeks, ER, The West Wing, and yes, Friends, but dont' have those on DVD.

 

The six things I could never do without

Really good dark chocolate, curling up with a good book, dueling snooze alarms, lip balm, clutter and bubble baths.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

What I need to get done and what I'm reading or going to read next.

I am learning that karma is a bitch as I am dealing with a teenager who is far too much like me at that age.

Lately I've been thinking about ways to pay it forward - doing small things to try to brighten up someone else's day. It all started when the car ahead of me in a drive-thru lane paid for my lunch with a $20 and asked the clerk to give me the change.

On a typical Friday night I am

Catching up on my TV shows, watching a movie, reading, catching up with friends on Facebook and LiveJournal, or sleeping.

 

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I once took on four guys at once and came out on top. It sounds dirty, but it was me against them in Trivial Pursuit and I won.

 'The Present'

Originally posted December 2013

Seventeen years ago last month, my parents drove up from their new home in Wisconsin, and I drove over from Houghton to celebrate my sister's birthday. We went out for a nice dinner and returned to my sister's studio apartment in Ironwood to watch her unwrap gifts. At some point, we stuck a bow on the top of my son's head and snapped a photo of it. 

Skip ahead a few years, and my son was showing his Buppa around our new apartment in Ripon, Wis. He pointed to the photo of himself decked out with a bow and told Buppa, "And that was when I was a present."

My father loved sharing that story. 

Today, my son told me he needs a baby picture for his yearbook. 

"Where's the one where I was a present?" 

Jace as "The Present" (November 1996)

 Remembering Linda

Linda L. Waite

October 29, 1947 - December 7, 2009

When Linda laughed, you didn’t just hear it, you felt it.

She reverberated joy, and the echo of her love — for her family, for her friends, and for life — resounds through all who love and miss her.

 

I first met Linda in 1984 when my family moved to Parachute. My parents arranged for Linda to watch my sister and me while they worked. We became fast friends with Holly and spent the summer watching the Olympics in L.A. and tagging along while Linda taught 4-H cooking classes. I think of her every time I make blueberry muffins.

I treasure the memory of her chewing out my middle school basketball coach when I didn’t get any playing time in a tournament. I’m still a deplorable basketball player, and can’t fault the coach for utilizing the more talented players, but I love that someone was so outraged on my behalf.

Linda graduated at the top of her high school class, and she never lost her love of learning or reading. I enjoyed getting her take on current events, or talking to her about history or books worth reading.

Linda became a second mother to all her daughter’s friends, and her nieces and nephews. When I grew up, she also became a friend. She nurtured people like she took care of the flowers and plants in her garden.

Linda’s big heart had her giving so selflessly of herself, not just to her family and friends, but also to her community and her patients. She served as a 4-H leader, as a volunteer with the fire department and EMTs, as a trustee of the town board and member of the park board, as a nurse and so much more. If more people gave just a fraction of what Linda did, this world would be a far better place.

The last time I laughed with Linda was after dinner out with her husband John, my sister and my son. My sister and I jokingly suggested that my son try the Rocky Mountain Oysters, and then didn’t say a word when he ordered them. We held out to the end of the meal, and I can still hear Linda laughing at my son’s reaction when he learned what he’d consumed.

My last memory of Linda is of her standing in her garden, with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

I will treasure the lessons I learned from you, Linda. My family feels infinitely blessed to have known you. Thank you for your daughter, who I love like a sister. Thank you for welcoming so many into your home and heart.

Linda, I wish you were still with us, but I take comfort in the feeling that you are watching over those you love.

 — Amanda Lutey

  Dec. 8, 2010